Ping Pirates!

Next in line after Elron.... we have from EVA Martin! (Sorry Chris, martin did reply 1 hour earlier then you did, so his interview gets posted first) - Reporter Arzhou

1) Brief description of yourself, do it like you would trying to pick up some chick at the pub.
"I earn £700k per year, drive an Aston Martin and own a small island off the coast of Sri Lanka... saaay, you don't sweat much for a fat lass, do you?" (You asked... if you want some proper info, ask properly so i can bore you to an early grave).

2) Why the name Slippery Octopus for your ship name?
It just came out some hidden niche in the back of my mind (part of some bizarre rugby commentary... don't ask) and seemed to fit (I went for a high speed build to begin with)... Also The Black Pearl was a bit too obvious... If you want a more imaginative answer you will have to give me 7 days to think of an exciting lie for you.

3) In one word, describe your clan leadership style
Bollocks.

4) In his book, Thomas Friedman talked about the World Being Flat. Discuss
The world is flat. What's to discuss?

5) If your life were a song, which song would it be?
A tricky one this, as I'm trying to answer impulsively. A Day In The Life by the Beatles is as close as I'm going to get right now. Partly because it's one of those songs that has a change of pace and a touch of scizophrenia (like we all have), and partly because it is lyrically strong too... it seems to resonate.

6) Who is your favourite girl from "THE GALLERY"?
Jeremy Hing. This question is better than your replacement one, so I'm sticking with it.

*Martin insisted I leave the second line in. I thought that discussing Microsoft's Failed bid on Yahoo would have been a more engaging question though*

7) Which is your favourite design from this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion show?
Have no idea. I'm hoping it involves lingerie. In fact, knowing you as I do Ping Perv, it HAS to involve either lingerie or sexual deviancy. I won't wear it if it isn't silk, though.... can't stand the chafing.

8) Do you prefer RAMMING from BEHIND? or taking a FRONTAL Assault with CANNONS loaded?
Who wrote these questions? I thought Benny Hill was dead?! Are they the only 2 types??? Surely, ladies and gentlemen, variety is what it's all about? What about the bandit from above, coming out of the sun? I think we should ask LL to provide the graphics for that.

9) Famous question 9: Would your rather SPIT or SWALLOW
Spitting would be such a waste of good protein under normal circumstances, but makes an excellent supplement to pancake mixes. Elron provided the recipe... you should try it. Mmmmm *takes another bite.* So spit first, then you can always swallow later when you're a bit peckish.

10) Who would you want to sink your ship and WHY
Frank. Just for a bloody change. It. Would. Be. Nice. To. Be. Sunk. By. Frank. (grrrr)