Ping Pirates!

A clan on Facebook game "Battle
Stations" developed by Tyler Projects.

Aug 7, 2008

Ping Pie crisis?

Posted by Walker |

Rumours has it that Ping clan has ran into problems in acquiring the latest weapons as the rival clans have curtailed market supplies due to its hot selling Ping Pie. It seems that the Ping clan has been unwilling to share the recipe for the sumptuous Gourmet Ping Pie that it produces.

Rival clans have tried ways and means to get hold of the secret receipe but to no avail. Fort raids, infiltration, spying, bribery, death threats have all failed to yield any clue about the secret receipe. In a show of brinksmanship, rival clans have not only boycotted Ping Pie stalls, but also forcfully forbid the armoury stalls at each port from selling any weaponary to Ping.

"The turth is, there is no secret ingredient," says Adrian, Ping CM. "The Ping Pie is tastes good as we have made an effort to use the best ingredients."

"Though the curtail of market supplies has affected us, we are inclined to believe that this childish act of trade sanctions is only transient, and that the consumer will be unable to resist our alluring Ping Pies," beamed Chloe, Ping Head Baker.

However, the sudden withdrawal of demand have lead to a bloat of Ping Pies left on the shelves. As a result, some Pingsters have decided to put the excess pies to good use instead of just throwing them away. See replay below for more details:



Ahoy! Ping Pierates!

Aug 6, 2008

Scandal at the Border

Posted by Walker |


It was found yesterday that Border Guards across Sios have been deserting their posts once a month to have a party night in Alanna’s Love shack located on the outskirts of the Grand Imperial City. Thus leaving their toll systems on standby and at a setting of 5 AP to cross instead of the usual 15 AP.

One of our reporters attempted to interview a toll guard while he was being *entertained* by one of mistress Alanna’s *barmaids* “The government makes a killing off that travel scam” he responded. “The AP tariff is a joke! I mean come on……. Its *supposed* to keep the smuggling down, but with the new smuggling engines there’s no point! They just get around the checkpoints and the normal captains are forced to pick up the tariffs, this is our way of getting a break while giving them one” he smiled to our reporter, who then witnessed the guard captain beating the toll man for talking to the press, when they were supposed to be on duty.



It appears this has become a unit tradition for over 3 months now, travelling to the love shack and spending some spare cash on the good beer and willing women (or men as rumours claim). On every second weekend, these not so hard working men and women take a not so well earned break in this VERY well known establishment. Lowering the tariff charges to 5 AP to give the other captains around Sios an almost free trip to the Love shack to celebrate as a working community.



Bartender of the Love Shack, Alanna Chie, has also noted an increased business trend. "Business has definitely soared during the second week of every month and though the girls are all working overtime, the extra generous tips more than make up for it."



"The guards are very discplined and well behaved. So there isn't any cause for concern. In fact, their presence keeps the thugs and ruffians away :)" said Noris, Assistant Bartender.

This trend looks set to continue as the Sios Government seems to have its hands full on lowering the crime rate. Combatting identity theft, money laundering through auctions, daylight robbery and variouss other scams seems to be the top priorities at the moment.

Reported by Captain Liam

PS. So please stop asking when the travel fair is coming!!!!

Fort watching 101

Posted by Walker |

How to keep awake during fort watching when there are no other female clannies around:

(12:04:58 SGT) ***nic senses a rise in testosterone lvls in the chat
(12:05:24 SGT) zu: wukakaakkakka
(12:05:31 SGT) zu: jus to keep awake
(12:05:58 SGT) zu: wat u guys tink of this debra?....
(12:06:07 SGT) zu: debraaaaaaa
(12:06:15 SGT) nic: nt my type
(12:06:27 SGT) zu: hehehe
(12:06:41 SGT) zu: nice clev though...
(12:06:42 SGT) zu: ahakss
(12:06:47 SGT) zu: wats ur type nic
(12:06:49 SGT) zu: baby
(12:07:05 SGT) add: cutesey type gals?
(12:07:36 SGT) zu: big eyes sweet virgin look girls?
(12:07:57 SGT) nic: i go for feeling
(12:08:08 SGT) add: wah lau must get so physical
(12:08:27 SGT) nic: eh?
(12:08:35 SGT) zu: darn...nic...u like to feel her up..darn...i didnt know
(12:08:42 SGT) add: tsk tsk
(12:08:44 SGT) nic: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(12:09:06 SGT) zu: i tot ur better than tt dude
(12:09:34 SGT) nic: hmmm welllll
(12:10:02 SGT) nic: basically when i look at a gal... i can predict what she looks like in 5o yrs
(12:10:04 SGT) zu: hehehe
(12:10:05 SGT) Voxy: errr
(12:10:09 SGT) nic: *50
(12:10:12 SGT) Voxy: she looks very mature
(12:10:18 SGT) dinny: who?
(12:10:22 SGT) Voxy: Debra
(12:10:28 SGT) add: no la, with nip+ tuck + botex
(12:10:29 SGT) zu: wow.......u shld marry her in 50 yrs time den
(12:10:30 SGT) add: hard to say
(12:10:43 SGT) zu: i tink she wear a bit of push up thingie
(12:10:53 SGT) dinny: zul... 50yrs is a LOOOOOOOONG time lehh
(12:10:55 SGT) nic: i mean... looks fade so well... emotions are more impt for me
(12:10:56 SGT) zu: poor girl....need to show soomething...
(12:11:12 SGT) nic: ie... looks is secondary for me
(12:11:17 SGT) zu: dennis...well nic wanted e girl 50 yrs later...
(12:11:24 SGT) dinny: Nic... i think wads most impt... chemistry :P
(12:11:36 SGT) nic: haha ok... i menat chemistry
(12:11:39 SGT) zu: for a moment i tot nic said he love secondary schoo girls....craddle snatcher!
(12:11:42 SGT) zu: ehjehehehe
(12:11:43 SGT) dinny: cannot click, means no tok le
(12:11:44 SGT) dinny: hahaha
(12:12:37 SGT) zu: nic...i agree...chemistry is impt...so whose e last girl u dated eh?
(12:12:44 SGT) dinny: hwah... contracts sure are boring to read
(12:13:16 SGT) nic: zul zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(12:13:24 SGT) dinny: zul???
(12:13:26 SGT) nic: let me have some privacy pls
(12:13:29 SGT) zu: yeapss dennis
(12:13:30 SGT) zu: hehehe
(12:13:32 SGT) dinny: hahaha
(12:13:34 SGT) zu: no prob man
(12:13:48 SGT) dinny: no i mean... zul? the last gal nic dated was zul???
(12:13:49 SGT) nic: anyway nt as if u wld noe her if i said who she was
(12:13:50 SGT) dinny: hahahaha
(12:13:51 SGT) zu: wat contracts r u readin eh dennis
(12:14:03 SGT) dinny: old existing contracts
(12:14:11 SGT) zu: oh my god...u did dated me nic..i was so touched u dated cute me
(12:14:16 SGT) dinny: but if i tell u, id have to kill u :P
(12:14:19 SGT) ***zu wave daintily at nic
(12:14:29 SGT) nic: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(12:15:01 SGT) add: if alanna was here... you die
(12:15:07 SGT) ***zu sits in his chair..chokin by dennis_work's jedi powers
(12:15:08 SGT) nic: huh?
(12:15:09 SGT) dinny: come on la... im sure she's used to it
(12:15:12 SGT) nic: y?
(12:15:13 SGT) add: she will probably tekkan you
(12:15:16 SGT) add: rofl
(12:15:20 SGT) dinny: wif nic n betty in here hahhaa
(12:15:24 SGT) nic: tekan who?
(12:15:30 SGT) add: you la
(12:15:33 SGT) nic: lol bobbies in vietnam
(12:15:35 SGT) nic: y me?
(12:15:39 SGT) nic: y tekan me?
(12:15:47 SGT) add: cos you go by "feeling"
(12:15:52 SGT) zu: hahahaa

Aug 2, 2008

Lamentations of a new level-85-cannoner

Posted by Walker |

From the editor: This article is two weeks old, but nevertheless still relevant *I hope*



Oh yes, all along I had thought leveling is good news, as it would clearly mean you’re inching towards new ships, new weapons n parts… In short, new power!

And yes I know that although my ship the SinDragoon ain’t some powerful shit, it should at least be able to take out NPCs easily, NO SWEAT!!!

Alas, I was wrong…

And how wrong I was when I clicked ‘Explore’, gleefully having bought my new n shiny Blade Sail… “Time to PWN some ass!” I said…

It’s now official… I HATE THE NEMESIS REAPER!!!

Blardy hell!! My impressive arsenal of 6 Yamato Prototypes can’t take down that prick (pun intended) in 2 volleys, leaving only up to 1000hp, and having to suffer 2 retals (total damage = 15000), before finally taking it down with 1 last cannon??????

Why am I so suay??? If I had put A BIT more into gunnery, I could have taken it down in 2 volleys cleanly… If I had one Hammer of War… JUST ONE… ok waid a min, LL WHRS MY HAMMER OF WAR???

Ok it’s time for me to switch out of whining mode… and smell the roses *ahem* gunpowder…

Sigh, things are JUST gonna get tougher…


Signing off in tears,
Dennis

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